Thursday, March 8, 2012

Learning How to Take a Compliment

I have a problem that I'm slowly getting better at dealing with.  It's taking a compliment.  Now, the compliment is not the problem; it's how I respond.

Example 1:
Friend to me:  "I love your nails!  They look great!"
Me:  "Thanks!  I only get them done once or twice a year.  I went because I had a groupon for x amount of money and I really wanted to try the no chip manicure."


Example 2:
Friend:  "That dress is so cute!"
Me:  "Oh thanks!  It was really cheap.  It's from Target."


Example 3:
Friends:  "I love your hair.  Did you just get a new color?"
Me:  "Yes.  My sister does it and charges me less.  No way could I get it done for full price."
Yesterday this happened at my sons karate class.  It's the first time one of the other moms talked to me and I said something along these lines.  Ids. (short for idiot).

Example 4:
Friend:  "Did you make that bag?  It's really cute."
Me:  "Oh this old thing?  There are so many mistakes.  See?  I screwed up the strap."  Etc. Etc.


What the heck is wrong with me?  Why can't I just say thanks?  Why do I feel like I have to justify everything with a clause about how "inexpensive" it was?


A.  Is it that I don't want people to think that I spend a lot of money?
B.  That I want them to think that I'm frugal and get good deals?  (who cares?)
C.  That I just really stink at taking a compliment?

I'm not really sure.  A friend of mine and I laugh all of the time because it's sort of an inside joke between us and we catch ourselves doing it all of the time.  Last week I complimented her on a running shirt she was wearing she said, "Thanks.  I got it on the clearance rack at Target."  Then I pointed at her and we laughed for a while.
We joke that next time someone compliments us we'll lose our cool- "This dress?  It was cheap!  Like dirt cheap.  I don't even like it.  Here take it! AHHHHHH!" Then we'll run off naked into our abyss of inability to take a compliment  and rock on the floor in a ball in some bathroom stall.

So I consulted with Miss Manners on the topic.  Did a little google search.  She said that when you receive a  compliment, just say:  THANK YOU.
Wow.  Isn't that earth shattering?  I'm not sure that my mouth can utter only a two word answer.  I think too much.  But, I'll practice and let you know how that goes.



6 comments:

  1. Oh my goodness! This is Sooooo me too! Thanks for this and the reminder to just say "Thank you". Ha ha...It's gonna be a challenge for sure.

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  2. I really liked your post today. ;) I have the same problem with compliments. Maybe I will try putting my hand over mouth after I say 'thank you' and have a chance to run away so that I won't ruin it.

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    1. Thank you! Just don't run away too fast. They'll think they've insulted you :)

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  3. Oh man - I do the same thing.... and I don't think I realized it until just now. Very insightful! I'm going to practice a simple Thanks!

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  4. Did you write this about me?? I'm totally the same way! :( It's very hard to learn to just accept the compliment.

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  5. Oh my gosh me too, I always have to add an explanation off the back of a compliment. Why do we do it? Thanks for making me laugh at myself today. Bertie x

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