Monday, March 21, 2011

There Ain't No Language Like Love Language

Years ago, when Joe and I were first married, we went to a marriage seminar at our church.  
The speaker was Gary Chapman; the author of "The Five Love Languages."  

I cannot begin to tell you the impact that the principles that he presented at the seminar and in this book have had on me in our near 12 years of marriage.  But these love languages don't just pertain to marriage.  They can be used in every close relationship that you have.  
In case you don't know what the love languages are, or forget, here's a refresher from the 5 love languages website:
  • Words of Affirmation
     If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you.
  • Quality Time
    In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, “I love you,” like full, undivided attention.
  • Receiving Gifts
    Don’t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift.
  • Acts of Service
    Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service” person will speak volumes.
  • Physical Touch
    This language isn’t all about the bedroom. A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face—they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love.
    Usually, we show our love the way that we like to receive love.  For example, I am a person who feels loved when I get gifts (hint, hint).  I like the others, too, but I find that I'm especially happy when I receive a gift, because of the thought.

    My husband is a words of affirmation guy.  So I can buy him all the gifts in the world, and he won't feel the love like I expect he should.  All he wants is a simple compliment.  "Great job on the landscaping!" or "I'm so thankful for how hard you work for our family."  Those are things that make him feel most loved.  Whether I say it or write it, he loves it when I affirm him.

    Why did I write a post today on the love languages?  Because I needed the reminder.  Not just for my husband, but for others that I love, too.  Pay attention to how your husband, friends and children show you they love you.  Chances are, that's how they feel loved most by others.  Maybe you can practice showing some love this week!   

    What's your love language do you think?  Can't figure it out?  The 5 love languages website has an assessment to help you figure it out.  Click here to give it a go.


  1. My hubby and I were just talking about the love languages this weekend. It really does make a difference in relationships when you know how others feel most loved. Me? I'm an acts of service and words of affirmation kinda gal. :)

  2. I'll put it on the "to be read" list. I have to give it some thought how best to categorize those I love. It is important and yet so easy to get caught up in the chaos of the day to day.

    I sense I'm going to blog withdrawal soon??!!????!! (I did find a way to use my favorite punctuation mark....the exclamation point.)

  3. Beth, I thought you were going to yell at me for my incorrect grammar in the title ;)
    Yea, I'm not sure I'll be able to get on a computer on vacation, but will blog a ton when I get home!

  4. My friend just bought me this book and I'm so excited to read it. I've known about the 5 different languages already... and I'm quite aware (and so are my friends) that Quality Time is my #1! I also love gifts, and am finding out that acts of service is quickly becoming a favorite as well.... so can I just be all 5?!? lol :)


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